Mastering the Art of Resilience: How to Overcome Rejection

By Rob

April 21, 2023

achievement, living intentionally, relationships, success

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Rejection is a common and often painful experience that can leave us feeling discouraged, disheartened, and even helpless. However, by mastering the art of resilience, we can learn how to overcome rejection while building the confidence and resilience we need to succeed in all areas of life.

In this article, we'll be discussing practical strategies and insights for developing resilience and overcoming rejection. Whether you're dealing with rejection in your personal or professional life, this blog is for you. Let's dive in and learn how to master the art of resilience and overcome rejection with confidence!

Cognitive Therapy and Fear

When Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) was a young man, he had a debilitating fear of asking women out on a date. He desperately wanted to get into the dating scene but was being held back by his inability to talk to the opposite sex.

After analyzing his situation, Albert realized that his real problem wasn’t speaking to women. He could do that so long as he wasn’t asking them out on a date. His real problem was his fear of rejection. He was horrified by the prospect of being told no.

Step 1: Overcome Fear by Reframing Your Negative Thoughts

By scrutinizing his thoughts, Albert discovered the root of his fear. He was telling himself how horrible it would be if he asked someone out and they rejected his offer. This was irrational, and he knew it. He decided getting a no from someone was better than not trying at all, after all, by not asking, he was already getting a no and not allowing anyone to say yes.

He concluded that a no would not be as terrible as he was telling himself. He also noticed that even though he was now thinking realistically about his situation, he was still feeling apprehensive about approaching women and asking them on a date.

Step 2: Become Resilient by Embracing Your Fear of Rejection

After much thought, Albert decided the only way he was ever going to really conquer his problem was to actually go out and learn to deal with rejection.

Armed with his new belief that it wasn’t such a terrible thing to get a no from a complete stranger, he forced himself to go out and ask 100 women to go out with him. He reasoned that with each rejection, his fear would lose its hold on him. And that by the time he had been rejected 100 times, he would have become comfortable with it.

So over the next thirty days, he went to the Botanical Gardens in the Bronx and asked 100 women if they would like to go on a date with him. After one month he had received 100 no’s and only one yes. (And if you're wondering, his one yes, never showed up for their date.)

All though he didn’t get a real date from his efforts, Albert managed to overcome his fear of rejection. And in doing so, he eventually did meet the woman of his dreams.

Step 3: Outlast Failure

To some Albert’s story may sound like a failure. But it is far from it. By overcoming his fear of rejection, he was able to create a life of success. He learned that as long as your fears are in control, you will never get what you want because you will never take action.

Getting into action is necessary if you want success in your life. You must learn to face your fears, be comfortable with rejection, and be okay with not immediately getting the results you are seeking.

Successful people know that rejection is part of the process. In fact, rejection may be the key to all great success. If you want great success, then you must be willing to put yourself out there and prepared to face the scrutiny of others. You must be ready to take the bad with the good, and even be comfortable doing it.

Failing Their Way to Success

The great baseball player Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs. He also struck out 1,330 times. NBA star Michael Jordan missed 12,345 shots during his career but will go down in history as one of the top players of all time.

If you wish to be successful, you must take Albert’s advice and stop telling yourself how horrible it will be if you don’t get what you want on your first attempt. Instead, realize how horrible it will be if you don’t try.

The truth is that the only real rejection in life comes when you reject yourself by not attempting to go for your dreams.

If you want to succeed then follow Albert's simple formula. Address your negative irrational thoughts. Take massive action. Learn from your results, and never never never give up.

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About the author

Hi, I’m Robert Louis Sims …A.K.A. Rob
I’ve been studying the psychology of achievement since 1989, when I picked up a copy of How to Sell Anything to Anybody by Joe Girard. Since then, I’ve been obsessed with learning the difference between people I have now come to call Intentional Achievers and everyone else.
If you’re looking to take your career, relationships, health, energy, productivity, influence, and life to the next level, then I invite you to join me on Achievement Made Simple.
My mission is to find the principles of achievement and share them with you in a simple way that makes them easy to understand and use in our everyday lives.

Robert Louis Sims